(DONE) Strange Recipes for Strange People
  Recipes no one is interested in having, and maybe a few of the other kind.
Most of these recipes are written up for people that know how to get around in a kitchen.  If you must have specific quantities, all I can say is, take a chance!  Experiment!  Nobody's looking and nobody will know if it doesn't turn out. 
I've had my share of disasters and burned a few things in my time, too.  I especially enjoyed burning pizza, too many times to count, while reheating it, during the time I was raising a family.  In the last 15-20 years since the children have grown up, I've only reheated pizza in the oven twice.  The second time I burned it again (that was about 10 years ago and I'm adding this note on 11/13/14).  It's safe to say that no pizza slice will ever see the inside of my oven again.  That's why God invented microwaves.